In Fast Food Nation, Eric Schlosser explains the history behind these major companies, revealing truths that kids, even aults aren't aware of. Eric Schlosser tells us how these billionaire companies such as Disney, target young kids as a cover up for their own benefit. Little do we know the money that we spend recycles upon these huge companies leaving us empty hande and clueless.
Schlosser points out that parents always want their children to be happy, which is a main reason why companies target younger children. Parents do whatever it takes, whether its a happy meal, a railroad trip across the country to Disney world, parents do just whatever to have their child feel satisfied and loved. As said on page 43 - "Major ad agencies now have children's divisions, and a variety of marketing firmsfocus solely onkids". The more money spent, the larger and wider these companies expand through out the world and the more power they have among us.
In my opinion, i find this to be absolutely absurd and unacceptable. As sad as it is, these companies grow gradually day by day making enormous amounts of salaries. It's like a game of chess, these companies know our every move and all we do is spend. Knowing that McDonalds doesn't care for their customers, causing kids as young as 5 to be obese and unhealthy, who would of thought "friendly" Ronald McDonald could be so greedy ?
I must say Krystalee this piece is absolutely amazing. You started out by stating what you were going to be speaking about and through the entire piece you stuck to your idea. And with each aspect of the idea you went into detail and you used Schlosser and the Fast Food Nation reading to support your points.
ReplyDeleteSome of the things that I like that you did were, split your work into 3 different paragraphs. Each paragraph informing the reader even more about the targeting of young children by large companies to expand and for their other personal benefits. In addition, I also loved that you used elementary school language and was still able to express what you necessarily wanted to. I also loved that you used short sentences, not sentences stretching for about two to three lines. I find when a sentence is longer the read, or it’s just me I tend to becomes bored and restless reading the information. One last thing for the most the language used within your piece was excellent and understandable.
However, although your article captured my attention, there were a few minor errors that stood out. These errors are 100% fixable if you agree with me or willing to do so. If you re-read this piece you will find some punctuation and grammar errors, which were made accidentally I’m sure. In addition, a few sentences could be structured a bit differently. For example, “In my opinion, i find this to be absolutely absurd and unacceptable.” This sentence was solid and I loved it, but remember and I as well made the same mistake, your opinion doesn’t count in this selection. So probably we could try a different approach to the sentence taking out in my opinion. Don’t worry I will always listen to your opinion, but this little piece doesn’t really call for it. One last thing because there wasn’t much wrong with this as I said. The last thing I’d have to touch on is saying to add a few more sentences in other places to actually give the reader a bit more about what you are trying to say because I know you have a lot to say on this particular topic.
Last thing is I loved that youn ended your writing with a question, which leaves the reader in suspense. This might lead up to someone doing some personal research based on what you gave them so far.
Hi what is your Twitter ID?
ReplyDeletemine is javednajhafeez!
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