Factory farming has taken over the organizations of food all throughout the United States. The concentrated animal feeding operations, or better known as the CAFO's is the world's most produce of meat, milk, eggs, and seafood and is what's becoming one of the biggest issues to the killing of animals. The practice of animal husbandry has now been replaced by a working industry that focuses primarily on efficiency and productivity. To the CAFO's, animals and humans are both limited to their resources, which shows those who run the food companies do not care for our health. Animals are kept in crammed, unsanitary environmental conditions and are beaten brutally by the workers. Animals that live in these environments tend to get sick and carry diseases due the foods they are given. The diseases of these animals are causing a huge impact on individuals of the U.S. by also spreading more and more diseases each year. However, the organization of the CAFO’s dehumanizes workers as well by manipulating their minds into by making reasonable prices on the foods we consume. Most individuals are not aware of the goals the CAFO systems. Although CAFO's are classified as a farming enterprise and not factory farms, they sure do share the same conditions and treatments as one.
You have a good explanation of what CAFO's are which helps lead the reader into the paragraph knowing exactly what the main focus will be. You should make a clearer thesis where you address but don't go into details on the topics: The working industry has been replaced by a working industry that focuses primarily on efficiency and productivity, animals are treated poorly and the that the environment suffers for it. <----of course later in the body paragraphs these will help serve as main topic sentences for your arguments. A lot of what I see in towards the ending of the paragraph can definitely be used in support of the following arguments. I like the ending sentence because I feel like you can really elaborate on that topic alot, which I'm sure you were already planning on doing. Some key words you could KEY ;-) lol in on could be husbandry, also just a suggestion just to get a little more passionate you could compare the treatment of the animals by the CAFOs to how they treat us, sort of underlining a thought that the way they produce food for us from these sick animals show us that we are nothing but animals to the corporations, they just need us to make our own selves victims...maybe that could help, I hope it did
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